We are born into our families, but we choose our friends. That’s one reason why, when someone who we have considered a close friend suddenly stops communicating with us (or “ghosts” us) it can feel so painful.
We may struggle to figure out what we did wrong, mentally replaying different past meetings in our minds. We may call, phone, and text the individual, pleading for forgiveness if we’re not sure what we did wrong.
But there’s an alternative to that struggle. By turning to just a few spiritual tennants, God can help us find peace and calm our anxious minds.
Luke 6:31:
Do to others as you would have them do to you
When you think about the friend who is ghosting you, do you feel upset by them and want to push them to answer you through phone calls, emails, or text messages?
If you needed your space, would you want someone to continue trying to contact you?
This verse tells us to treat others as we would like them to act towards us. Would you like your former friend to forgive you and pray for you? Then consider mentally forgiving that person for the ghosting rather than holding onto anger toward them. Pray for them.
And if you see them in the community, remember this. Would you like them to smile at you and greet you pleasantly? When you ask yourself what you’d like for them to do if the shoe was on the other foot (and, really, be honest with yourself about the answer), then you will know how to react.
Proverbs 22:24-25:
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared
Is it possible that God is doing for you what you could not do for yourself? Perhaps God wants you to let go of a friendship that is unhealthy in order to open your mind and heart to a friend you have not yet met.
Proverbs 22:24-25 tell us to be cautious in choosing our friends. Avoid those who are quick to become angry or moody or you may acquire those traits.
Now, while you are ultimately in charge of your own attitude and how you act (regardless of however anyone else is acting), it is worth understanding that people can rub off on us if we’re not being self-aware enough to take back our personal power.
Rather than spending your time obsessing about what you did wrong, consider what you want in a friendship. Do you have people in your life who are currently acquaintances who have qualities you admire?
Perhaps God is giving you an opportunity to enhance your life with these new friendships.
Romans 8:31:
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Ultimately, how should you respond to the awareness that a former friend seems to be ghosting you?
With God supporting you, you can have faith in the future and your ability to form new friendships, and if this one is meant to be sorted out, it will be in time. Perhaps your former friend will one day get back in touch, perhaps not.
But you can be assured in the knowledge that if you have done all you can to forgive, ask for forgiveness and get right in your heart about it, then you can find the peace of mind you seek.
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